Water, water, every where,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, every where,
Nor any drop to drink.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge.

The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

Author Note: Reader Discretion Strictly Advised. If you have baseless strong political views and are butt-hurt most of the time, close this link NOW.  I might get a little graphic on this one while I rant with great vigour. Please note, these are my personal opinions about the system. Take what you want from this, else ignore it completely, but we can’t blindside ourselves to the facts as they are, and I hope to install that figment of thought in your heads in this article. Also, a quick apology for having not posted for a while. Enjoy!


Before I start, let me quickly give a hats off to everyone who understood the “Whose Line is it Anyway” quip that I used for the heading. Moving on, let me ask a question to both the states involved in this socio-political cringe-fest of an issue, what the sensational fuck!

India is a subcontinent which is at constant fight with a few of her neighbours. We fight with Pakistan because they have the political sense of a couch potato, we bitch at Bangladesh for filling Bengal up like a vase. We fight with Nepal just because we can. We fight with China because Modiji said so (obviously reason enough).

So we are at constant fight. This, along with the constant fight in one of our states that has gone from bad to worse to sad to pathetic. Yes, I am referring to Kashmir. The fight there has been on the headlines since independence. All this is a clear indicator that no matter what the case might be, what the problem might be, whoever wronged whomever, we can not afford to fight amongst ourselves and that is what this rant is about.

The Cauvery river passes from Karnataka into Tamil Nadu. Since earlier, Karnataka and Tamil Nadu have been involved in a fierce spat over how much water Tamil Nadu should receive. My question to that is, ‘why bro?’

Why should we degrade ourselves to a level where we aren’t ready to give water to the a fellow state in our own country!? Why should we fight for this. Of water of all fucking things. WATER, guys, the most abundant resource the world has.

But that isn’t even the tip of the iceberg. The thing that irked me more than ever is the reaction Bangalore had to the Supreme Court decision asking Karnataka to pass on more water. They rioted.

I agree, we have a riotlord for our PM, but that doesn’t mean we try and emulate what he does best. We don’t. We just fucking don’t. Karnataka rioted by burning vehicles with Tamil Nadu registrations. They damaged property. They burned bus, beat random people up, burned bikes, sang retarded anti-state slogans, burned more vehicles and did other distasteful things.

In response to this, what did people in Tamil Nadu do? The same things, in reverse order.

Magic has evidently happened. A bad kind of it, where many people in Karnataka and Tamil Nadu transformed and became Bhai fans. (Yes, I went there again.)

Why? To what end? I realise India is far from an utopia, but it has become a dystopia. It has become unpleasant. It has become hostile. It has become tasteless.

We have enough problems to deal with, with rising unemployment, rising poverty, depleting health, depleting habitation. We can’t afford to participate in asinine fights that make absolutely no sense.

To the readers of my wgmg series, I am apologising for not digressing from the topic into humor as I usually do, but I had a feeling this wasn’t something that allowed satire.

I am a South Indian. In spite of the countless hours I spent fending off bullies due to that in North India, I love South India. It is quintessentially India in everything it has. Please, I humbly implore you to not piss on that.

Remember,

When two elephants fight, it is the grass that gets trampled

A popular proverb

Sincerely yours,

S. Narayanswamy