Enough

I am dead,

They say in the moment,

Just as you die,

Life flashes,

Glimpse after glimpse,

In front of you,

I am not dead,

I am seeing glimpses,

I am dying maybe.

 

Born a boy,

And not a girl,

In a chauvinist cesspool,

Mother, father,

Was I good enough?

 

Learned to talk,

Naughtily maybe,

Or maybe seriously,

But I did talk,

Before most kids,

Of my age,

Was I good enough?

 

Walked,

When others were crawling,

Ran,

When others were walking,

Sprint after sprint,

Was I good enough?

 

Well spoken now,

Respected my elders,

Respected my peers,

Revered my country,

Society, are you happy?

Or was I falling short?

 

Scores and marks,

Debates and quiz,

Cricket and football,

Running and dribbling,

Schools, teachers,

Was I good enough?

 

I poured out my love,

Cares for you more,

Than I ever thought possible,

You were happy,

I think, at least,

My wife, my love,

Was I good enough?

 

I taught you to talk,

To crawl,

To run,

To learn,

To play,

To cave,

To love,

To own,

My daughter,

Did I give enough?

Was I a good enough father?

 

Picked up a few habits,

As I grew older,

A little lonely now,

A little rude sometimes,

A little cranky possibly,

Society,

Kids around me,

Am I bad?

Or just enough?

 

Now I’m here,

Monitors beeping,

Breathe labored,

Hands a skeleton,

Devoid of energy,

Lacking strength,

A shadow of my former self,

Life, was I good enough?

World, was I enough?

Am I worth dying?

Or am I better off alive?